Ya never know homie/ might meet some hoes homie
Ya need to pump your brakes and drive slow homie" ~Kanye West Drive Slow
Lately I feel like I don't even have time to live anymore. It's always running I have to do, I never have time to just look around and appreciate the world and all it's splendor. After Elise's baby shower Saturday I hooked up with Big Time and chilled with him for a LONG while. I use to always see girls riding with guys like him and I would be so jealous. For once in my life- I was that girl. I swear in two hours, I saw every hood street the east side of Cleveland has to offer... St. Clair, 10-5, Eddy Road, Shaw, Union, Harvard, Kinsman, Superior, Euclid, 152nd, Buckeye... the list goes on. I sat there sippin on champagne and got lost as time to slowed down, I unwound and was in deep thought. Those are the times when you really get to know a person. It's not about what they got on, what song is playing, the crew they roll with- it's you, him and conversation.
I am realizing that I've come across a guy unlike anyone I have ever dealt with. This is "New" to me because I am always analyzing and comparing niggas. Even the ones who surprise me in the beginning- end up being the same. I am pretty sure Big Time has some thing under his sleeve- but for the most part I am convinced that he isn't the average everyday. We already "fell out" once (on his accord), so I already know the other(crazy) side of him- so I don't think there is anything I have to worry about. All I can say is a nigga like him will have me wanting to make that move back home, but we will see. We are just so much alike... secretive- the who nine. In light of that(secrecy), I've decided to no longer make mention of him in this blog, or at least I will try not to. Hopefully things will work out and at the least we will remain cool people, time will tell.
"My Best Friends Say I'm Bottled Up, I Need a Fuckin Therapist/...
But I Can't Think of Nobody I Wanna Share This Wit/..." ~ Pharrell Best Friend
Yesterday was my Derrick's 24th birthday and I didn't even get to talk to him. Seems like I haven't been talking to much of anyone lately. My life has taken a drastic turn. Really ain't been up in the club like I use to and I been more focused on getting my life together. I kind of feel secluded. My boy A.J. has been hitting me up like every other day to kick it, the last two summers we were inseparable- but now I am just a dead beat friend. Last time Mel and I kicked it was in April I think, & Ro & I last kicked it on her birthday in February... GEEZ- I am just fallin off. It's funny how life can be so great yet so fucked up all in the same moment. I am just trying hard to stay focused and not be discouraged- but I just don't know anymore.
I guess I am hoping things do work out with Big Time (okay I promise- no more mentioning of him) so I can have someone to talk to, to vent to, to be real with- because this blog shit ain't forever. That's the thing about a Blog, there's no reciprocity, nor feed back. If I keep on like this, I'm gonna drive myself CRAZY!
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