Monday will be the three year anniversary of Jason dying. I don't know what I will be doing or how I will be feeling, so I decided to log a little something now, while my head is kind of clear. As one could have guessed, I don't take death well-at-all and in this circumstance(Unlike with Mahdi) even worse because I never got to say goodbye. I will never forget the last time I saw Jason (January 1, 2001) and I will never forget our last conversation. More than anything, I will never forget memories we had together.
I met Jason through my cousin Kim. She transferred to Bedford (from Shaker) our freshman year of high school. She began dating Khalid, & Jason was his best friend at the time- so the rest is history. I will never forget his womanizing ways- he was a born charmer! Unlike other females, I passed Jason's surface and got to learn a lot about a man many had never saw. He told me about his many relationships & how deep down inside they hurt him. Jason and I always kept in touch (even when he moved to Twinsburg), seeing that our relationship was already long distance- nothing changed. I will never forget how he was one of those guys who had it all- including MONEY, lol. Both he & Kim would tell me about his "cake daddy" ways. He also expressed to me that none of the girls he ever talked to did anything for him that left him any feeling other than regret- except one.
A girl he once dated- came from a poor family. For his birthday- she made him a card. He said it had been years since they'd spoken, but that he still had the card, it was one of his most prized possessions, and he would always keep it close to his heart. When he told me that, his shallow ways went out the window, his stories about buying gators to wear to school for one day- DISAPPEARED... I knew all that shit was a cover up & deep down inside he was a real man with real substance. That year, for his birthday, I wrote him a poem & mailed it to him. He loved it!
I can honestly say, that I have written many poems in my day- but he was the only man to react positively to my poem. Not Jason Moore, not Devin Bennings, not Sean Coffey, not _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. I will never forget him memorizing and reciting it to me. And now, as I am struggling to finally get serious about things in my life and this Journalism Degree, subconsciously, he is one of the reasons I keep going. He complimented my work so much, he encouraged me so much. To this day I have so-called friends who mock my poetry and writings. He was one of the only who told me I have what it takes.
Ja also taught me to watch the ones closest to me, because they sometimes do not have my best interest at hand.
Even though I will be 23 in a couple of weeks and I know I am not where I want to be, there is still much I know I can accomplish. Jason told and taught me sooo fucking much. When he was a senior and I was a junior, he would just blurt out random shit like- "I am buying a Lexus", or "I am getting some "Big Blocks" & Armani to wear to school tomorrow"... and as impossible as it may seem for a high school student- the nigga was a stunta! He even once told me, "My parents have a time share in Florida & I love it there. I think I am going to move to Florida & Fly planes." If he said it, he did it! Twenty years old, living it up in Daytona, Flying planes, car, motorcycle... motorcycle... motorcycle... Touche'; A Ride Or Die Nigga for real! I will never forget! Never! The Wavy hair, flawless skin, green eyes, beautiful smile, cocky attitude, and most importantly the sweet young man behind the mask that many never knew- yet I was privledged. Never will I forget!
Jason Robert Dorsey
August 24, 1982 ~ April 17, 2003
"It is foolish and wrong to mourn for men who have died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived." ~General George S. Patton Jr.
"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering." ~Bruce Lee
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