It's very hard to lose track of what is really important in life. Family, "REAL" friends, love, success... these things are the uncontrollable, yet most important factors in life. Maybe not in that exact order, but this is what is comes down to. Lately I have been trying real hard to share my love, but I am starting to realize that maybe I should be a little selfish. Maybe I am just a little too promiscuous with my affection. It is time for me to love myself & my self only.
I have tried for the last month to like a guy and to treat him the way he wants to be treated. I have even gone out the box & been incredibly nice to him, but to no avail! What makes more since is that I be myself. If I am the perfect person- & still I get no love- I get no act right... then I may as well be the real me. No more walking on egg shells. From her on out I am concentrating on loving those who love me. My family is VERY important to me right now because they are my only constant. I do have one friend who has stuck with me no matter what & I see that even though he has not cleared everything in his life with me, I have to be happy about his decisions & more than anything be happy for him and his happiness. I guess one could say I am living vicariously through him, lol.
More than anything, I know that people don't know the real me. The Lindsay who makes up dance routines (how many people really know about the progression of the "Go Lindsay" dance since high school), the Lindsay who use to miss class b/c her hair wasn't done, the Lindsay who loves to cook for her friends, buys passionate gifts, gets said because others don't see the real her. I am in love with myself, even though I get down at times. I am happy with the woman I have become and the well-rounded human being I am developing into. & the most important success I have had is realizing who I really am and still loving every moment of it!
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