The more & more I look back on the person I once was, the more I appreciate the woman I am & more importantly the BETTER of a woman I am becoming. About a year ago I lost an associate of mine because I choose to contact her boyfriend and be the "better woman". Out of 12 people who I considered myself to have "real" beef with, he was the only one to find bad in what I wrote about. Of course my so-called friend being a naive & out right stupid bitch, choose his side & for months there after- still- I continued to keep her company. Then one day about two months ago, I just decided to write her off. Not a fall out, nothing like what I have gone through with other females in the past, but just a decision to move on to more self relying, interesting and intelligent females who can help me grow as a person. If you're anything less, I have no reason in being around you. Plain & simply!
I am VERY critical when it comes to my friendships. I take in friendships the same way I relate to my family. My family loves me because they HAVE to. There is nothing I could do to get rid of their love. It's kind of like a CSI, just because the blood is seemingly washed away with soap & water does not mean it isn't there. Blood has a way of sticking around no matter what, & so does My Blood (or My Fam) as well as my real friends. If someone is your friend they will not wash away with soap & water. No thing can separate you. I am just blessed that I have eyes which acknowledge that- just because a person has been around in your life for a looooong time, does not necessarily equate to loyalty. Like my old boyfriend Donte' use to say, "Just because it has syrup on it, doesn't make it pancakes!"
There were some girls at Ohio State that I befriended who were merely my foes from the beginning, I was just blind. They brought out the worse in me & I am glad that we are no longer acquaintances. I had a falling out with my cousin who was in their graduating class & from the moment they found out Kim was my blood, all they could do is bash her. Call her a hoe & say that she couldn't dress, say this say that, blah blah blah. Looking back I now see that they were just hateful jealous girls. She was not the hoe, come to find out one of them was the one having the abortions. She could dress, come to find out one of them was the girl who was less fortunate. Back then, I did not see that because I was mad, but now it is clear that some people are just wrong & the only way they feel half decent about them selves is to try and bring down others. Now it's 2006 and my cousin and I are where we are supposed to be.
I am VERY critical when it comes to my friendships. I take in friendships the same way I relate to my family. My family loves me because they HAVE to. There is nothing I could do to get rid of their love. It's kind of like a CSI, just because the blood is seemingly washed away with soap & water does not mean it isn't there. Blood has a way of sticking around no matter what, & so does My Blood (or My Fam) as well as my real friends. If someone is your friend they will not wash away with soap & water. No thing can separate you. I am just blessed that I have eyes which acknowledge that- just because a person has been around in your life for a looooong time, does not necessarily equate to loyalty. Like my old boyfriend Donte' use to say, "Just because it has syrup on it, doesn't make it pancakes!"
There were some girls at Ohio State that I befriended who were merely my foes from the beginning, I was just blind. They brought out the worse in me & I am glad that we are no longer acquaintances. I had a falling out with my cousin who was in their graduating class & from the moment they found out Kim was my blood, all they could do is bash her. Call her a hoe & say that she couldn't dress, say this say that, blah blah blah. Looking back I now see that they were just hateful jealous girls. She was not the hoe, come to find out one of them was the one having the abortions. She could dress, come to find out one of them was the girl who was less fortunate. Back then, I did not see that because I was mad, but now it is clear that some people are just wrong & the only way they feel half decent about them selves is to try and bring down others. Now it's 2006 and my cousin and I are where we are supposed to be.
Kim & I by Mirror Lake @ Block Parties 2000
After all that happened between us, we are still cousins, friends, & we love each other dearly. I missed a lot in her life because of our falling out (graduation, first years of college, even the death of Jason Dorsey) & I missed even more because I allowed childish foes to feed the fire (her wedding & the birth of her first child). But now, I look back and realize that it all happened for a reason. It was a growing process.
Myron & Kim's Daughter Mya
Now, like so many before me- I have no regrets... Non of the good nor bad! Majorly, because if non of the bad would have happened to me during these yesteryears I would not have become the woman I am today.
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