How did he get the name Maize & Blue? You do the mathIt is definitely over! Amongst other things- betrayal & months of silence were not enough for me. The defining moment came on January 10, 2006. As I opened mail from my girl Talicia I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the invitation to her baby shower. As I browsed her gift registry online, I noticed that her boyfriend Lamont's name was linked to the page. Being bored on a regular Tuesday afternoon, I decided to search the names of a couple of guys I had been or was currently seeing, you know- just to see if I could uncover any illegitimate children to be. I was relieved and 3 for 3 when I decided to check that one last name & there it was... Maize & Blue was expecting a baby girl in TEN days! Then, nothing else mattered. The past five years was just a blur. For the first time in my life a man had shaken me to my core. Oh, but it doesn't end there. I could not bring myself to call him so you know me, I texted him and asked, "Are you having a baby?" & I never got a response. It wasn't until February 15, 2006 @ 3:15am when he texted me to say, "Happy valentine's day." The thing that was a little beyond insulting but just plain infuriating is the fact that he has NEXTEL. And just encase you SPRINT & NEXTEL subscribers don't know, when you respond to a text, the person you are responding to will not only receive your text, but also the text you were giving a response to. So, what I received looked something like this...
Fr:Maize & Blue +1216xxxxxxx RE: Happy
valentines day.---Are
you having a baby? L. to
the...
Feb 15, 3:15 am
So it let me know, not only did he get my text, but he did not give me the courtesy of being a man & keeping it real, he did not care about me heart, & the bastard kept my text for over a frickin month! So, I guess I was wrong, the defining moment was not on January 10, 2006, but on February 15, 2006. And that was definitely the end, and its kind of sad because the beginning was so beautiful...
Maize & Blue and I @ Glenville's Spring Fling
The Beginning...
What we had was perfect and though I have never had the experience of being in love this is one of two times that I felt like I was close. January 2001, If I Could Turn Back Then Hands Of Time! I decided to go to his prom, he decided to go to my prom, we decided to be together. He was trying to get away from the ex-factor of the "Baby Mama" & I was trying to get away from the feelings of my "Wide Receiver". Initially I guess we were both in it for all the wrong reasons, but we stayed in it for all the right. We were mad compatible. It was the normal High School Love, endless telephone conversations... He "paged" me I "paged" him (remember pagers, lol), on the weekends there were the late night visits, dinner & movie dates, etc.
Things were perfect, like I said- until the other girls started coming into the picture. First it was the hood rat cheerleader from my high school, then the double dose of scank from Collinwood track team- but I was playing the stand by her man good girlfriend role & I swept it all under the rug! But it was all true. So many stories I could type, but the fact that people will never realize is that the grass was not greener! Sometimes people pretend to be something that they are not. To this day so many hang off of Maize & Blue's balls, they worship him & they don't even know who he really is. I am not meaning to bad mouth anyone, this is not a male bashing bitch session. Its just how I feel about one individual in particular. Once a liar always a liar! Oh- "BUT PEOPLE CHANGE!" No they don't. Once a killer always a killer. Just because someone stops lying doesn't make them not a liar, or born again! If a serial killer like Jeffrey Dommer's defense was, "Oh, I haven't killed and eaten a person since 76'!" is all forgiven?
Maize & Blue and I @ Shaw's Prom
Forgive Your Enemies...
I think when time passes, if you are a soft hearted person, you only remember the goodtimes. Senior year of high school-Freshman year of college. The things that to someone else would mean nothing. The infamous TATTOO, drives from UofM to OSU for the weekend, Gra-Gra's for Christmas, the Dozen Roses @ Mrs. Ferguson's house after the Bowl Game, the 5 day retreat we had in Morrison Tower room 723 for my 19th Birthday (which to a normal person means nothing, but any man who plays Big Ten Football knows, you do not just leave school skipping practice & class without telling your coach or for that matter anyone), coming down for the Spring Icebreaker with "the future NFL 1st rounder" just so I wouldn't have to go alone, just moments of love when the earth stood still.
Maize & Blue and I @ his Aunt's house before Glenville's Prom
But Never Forget Their Faces
Looking back, I made a lot of mistakes. I bided all my chips & lost the game. Other than the ones who read this blog, no one knows that this love changed me more that any event to date. Now that it is over I can admit it, I was hurt beyond matter! I spent two years in a melancholy state. At no other person's fault than my own I let the end of this love make me neglect my work, my schooling(yes, I will be in college for a couple more years ;-) its okay!), and more sadly my spirit. No one will ever know the pain I went through alone! Time when I thought I was going to end it all. I came through it & I am proud of myself. Never again will I let a MAN have that affect on me. NEVER AGAIN!
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