Through all the bullshit and drama, right now I am so content. I am seeing straight through all the negative things that are being thrown at me left and right. This is so crazy because THIS happiness is all as a result of Big Time, a nigga I haven't talked to in (exactly) two weeks. It's funny when words don't need to be spoken (literally) and you know STILL that you are on the same page as that special person. He is all that matters to me right now. Yea, there are other men who I kick it with here and there- but none of them are serious about me, so I am not going to waste the time to be serious about them. I guess he has touched a part of my heart that I thought had died and I am so glad. I had given up on him time and time again... and when I called him to end everything- he told me everything I've ever wanted a man to say to me. Unedited, straight from the heart.
People have a lot of negative things to say about me, but sometimes it takes a person who has been through the same shit as you- have to judge you. The bitches who came up in paradise- I couldn't care less about what they think of me. The niggas who are mad I wouldn't let em' fuck- I couldn't give a damn about em'. But a man who has been through it all- I respect his opinion of me. It means so much coming from him. I once read an anthology- and for the life of me, here four years later I can't locate the passage (the anthology is over 2000 pgs long & I'll be damned if I reread it for 20 lines), but it's basically an African American female writer pleading that she would never want a white person to write a biography about her life. While all they would see, define and acknowledge is the fact the she grew up poor- they would never be able to fathom, preserve the fact nor present that she was all along HAPPY!
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