Drawing a Blank

I didn't know why it was funny, but I laughed anyway.
I figured it was an inside joke; I'd find the path in eventually.
I didn't think the joke was on me, and couldn't see through the lies.
His smile was put on as a front, a mere disguise.
I confused the punishment with the prize, but things became clearer.
Made the near fatal mistake of writing it off as a rookie error.
Now, it's my mentality; my judgement is not exactly good.
Have the "coulda," and the "woulda" down packed, yet I never consider the should.
Could is the future; would is the past. Should is the here and now.
I let my present slip right by me while I'm hypnotized by his smile.
He has me so discombobulated; I have no clue where to turn.
Should I build a future with him, or should I let it burn?
Should I fight for him; is he something worth being earned?
Should I just K.I.M., and take this as a lesson learned?
Should I draw my gun and kill him where he stands?
Or, should I draw a blank and accept him as my man?