I keep telling myself to be faithful and pray, but I am so nervous. It's crazy when you're fate is in the hands of another and you just have to wait for them to say yay or nay. This life changing decision, whether it be yay or nay has me going nuts. As if it's not enough to have this crazy tooth ache, finals weeks and start a new gig all in one week- I have this on my mind as well. I know at the end of the day Yahweh will take care of me. I guess that's more of a reason for me not to worry right now. But, every time I disobey him (even slightly) something like this happens. I sometimes wonder if it's punishment? I get myself into the darnedest situations... and just keep digging the ditch deeper.
If everything pans out the way I know it will (just fine), I am not going to make a lot of false promises to Yahweh. I will say, that I must ask him to bring me through everything and make me a better person. A lot of the bullshit I get myself into- I know is wrong. Even as I am doing it, I already feel regret and guilt, yet I can't help myself. All I can do is ask and hope that his will is my wish.
As of now, I am holding my breath and waiting for relief. I can not wait until Friday!
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