Dreaming

I dreamed of Charge-it-to-the-Game last night. It was weird. Every time I feel something ending I run back to the first person who hurt me. I start to think of him and where we went wrong. I start to compare and wonder if I've grown. Am I making the same mistakes now that I did when I was 17? That would be a shame. Some people go their entire lives never find the one. It's my personal belief that until you find the one, you will keep making the same mistakes. Or maybe it's that the one will love you enough to look over your mistakes and infirmities. We all have them. I am not sure where my relationship is headed. Maybe I am dreaming, but on the good days I think it could last forever. Then someone says something wrong and an argument erupts from no where. We fight over nothing. We have nothing to fight about. It's our egos. Taurus have those you know? I keep wondering if we can get over our differences. I keep wondering if either one of us will let our guard down. If we both do, this could be something. At the end of the day I am in love and it's not over until it's over. When I think of him I smile. He makes me happy. I have something that none of my friends have. I don't need to shout it from the roof top. I don't need to announce it on Facebook. I have the kind of respect for this man that makes me do things without him asking. I've cut all my males friends off. No more "innocent" text message conversations. I don't really party and drink like I use to. I guess I a looking to solidify things. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our relationship. I would never want anything to come up, no matter how innocent it may have been, that would make him doubt me. I am going to trust that he is doing the same and until I find out I am just dreaming--this is real.