Tears for the Past, Prayers for the Future

We seldom thank Yahweh for the things He never brought to pass. When we are in a bind we send prayers up--if we aren't too scared to talk to Him. When things are good, we don't mind giving thanks. We beg for things we don't need and turn our noses up at things we don't want. At every turn we are contempt with being content. Almost never do we take the time to reflect on what could have been. We never think about why things are the way they are. We are unappreciative and ungrateful. We refuse to consider not only why but by what means. The means are His grace. Relationships always plagued me. For the first time in years, I am in one I cherish. We argue and have issues, but thinking about him makes me happy. He cares about my life. He shows interest in a what I do. Things aren't perfect but it's a pleasure to be a contestant. Only one other relationship held this seriousness and that turned out to be a joke. And although I am in the midst of good times, I can't help but think about the past. Today, I thought about Big Time. He's in prison. I also thought about ALIas. He's in prison too. I went down the line, one by one and I am so glad Yahweh didn't allow them to happen. I think about Charge it to the Game. I think about Tee, Esco Bar and even Dynamite and they just weren't meant to be. Or maybe it's more of, I wasn't meant to be. I was too young. I didn't know myself. If they would have happened then, I would have been so unhappy now. And if I would have had them then and been unhappy now I would be unhappy FOREVER. Instead, I have Jarhead. Right now I'm pouring liquor out. Rest in Peace to my past. I don't know what Yahweh has planned for the future but I won't question it. I can tell from the past that it will be okay. But, I don't really need prayers because I have faith. But I shall pray and praise him anyway <3