Man, Christina has some lyrics for dat ass, lol. I just have been doing a lot of thinking about life lately. Some things and people come into our lives so unexpectedly and just as easy they can be taken away. It's funny that, once someone or something is there- you can not even remember what life was like without them. Who did you call for advice? Who was your backbone? How did you use to dress? It's funny that the past is so distant even when it was just yesterday! I guess it is important to just be in the now! Don't worry about what happened or what may come, just live right NOW!
I am trying hard to be a better woman. I am trying not to be spiteful and most importantly I want to become a more forgiving person. Sometimes people just don't know how to love- they can't help it! I was talking to Candace the other night about friendships and how is it hard for some people to be friends! You can not fault them for that, but you just have to deem yourself lucky that you DO know what it means to be a real friend. Sooner or later, that person who was less than a friend to you- will look back and realize what you meant to them and that they will NEVER find another like you. I know that from experience. The thing that most people don't realize about me is that I will always be their friend. No matter how angry I may be at the moment, no matter how they did me wrong, I will always be there. Once we fall out I am not going to go tell all their darkest deepest secrets- I am not going to stab them in the back. I am just going to keep it moving. There is no need to beat a dead horse. Once someone is dead to me, once love is lost- it's as if it never existed.
I am not bitter anymore, and I do forgive Maize & Blue. I am realizing a lot of which I felt he did to me, I allowed it- so in reality, I DID IT TO MYSELF. For along time I was not able to accept love and I would be lying is I said I can now give love (because I have not made it to that goal yet). What I can say is that I have met someone who is just so perfect in my eyes. Everything is so easy. I am not sure how far it will go, or if we "JUST" continue to be friends, but I can say that I look forward to being around him. Bad things can happen to one their whole life- but maybe those bad things just happened to prepare them for someone else. All his adversities- I see right through them and he is the kind of man I have always wanted.
I am realizing that all my pain in the past has a cause- I just hope he is that reason. And is at chance he isn't, I hope in the end- all this bad shit has man me a better woman!
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