Same Sh1t Different Toilet

I don't know what to do anymore. Every time I think I've found someone I love, it ends bitterly. All the signs come rushing in and no matter how hard I try to ignore them, the entire time I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don't know why I thought it would be different with the Good Angel. Maybe it's because we have so much history. Maybe it's because I thought he was my friend. Maybe I am just going crazy. I don't want love anymore...not if this is what it feels like. I always fell bad. I always feel upset. Someone who would encourage me to move to Paris, but can't imagine me moving near him? What's the point? To say I got a ring? To say I am a mother? To make people jealous or feel fulfilled? What's the point of it all? I want something real and nothing in this world is real at all, so I want nothing at all. I have to let him fly. That's what angels do anyway, right?