Too Much On My Mind

A lot has gone down in this last month. Everything is on the up and up, or atleast that is the way I like to view things. I finally got my computer fixed and high speed internet for the first time in history... so hopefully I will be able to start writing in the blog with the frequency that I did 2-3 years ago.

I am starting to buckle down on what is important in life. I need to stay out of the club and limit my drinking- if not eliminate it all together. My eating habits are better now a days, but I definitely need to impliment a work out plan ASAP.

Where relationship are involved I am on the fence. I don't know whether I should run or stay for awhile. Alias is Alias as usual. Unfortunately, nothing has changed there. I know what I need to do; I need to move on. Then there is The Forgiver, I don't know what to say about him. One day we're up the next day we're down. I either need stability, or I need to move on from both of these men. I am really considering Grad. School & if I got through with it, I can not be distracted by the trivial games men tend to play. Lindsay is all work no play. I am needing to grab an internship, a job and a plan for my future.

I may never find a real relation, get married or even fall in love. I may never have babies. I am starting to realize the things that I looked forward to are not promised and the way my life is going I will not be able to depend on them happening, so I have to depend on something else; myself. There is probably never going to be a financially stable man to couple with me and make me a better woman. Most men are equally paper chasers/ gold diggers as women are now-a-days so I have to concluded that I must prepare myself for buying a home, a car and paying off these student loans by the time I am 30. I am going to have to make sure I do what is right now, while I am 25, to prepare myself for my future. Many times- I can not even even count on a man to send me a pic on the phone!