I'm bored with transition. I just want to graduate, get a decent job, find a man who I adore and in turn sincerely loves me and be happy. I don't need to be rich. I don't HAVE to go to grad or law school. I don't even prefer a man who is drop dead gorgeous & fit. I just want a respectable nice looking young man who is confident and inspiring.
I have been through a lot in life, much of which I have not included in this blog, but I realize that the major events of my life have yet to come. I haven't yet graduated. I haven't yet been married. I haven't yet had a child. I haven't yet become aware of the spirit. Only two of the four have been promised to me, but I can't help but feel optimistic about the other two as if they had been promised to me as well. That sad truth is, I am so impatient that I'd rather suffer than wait on the good things that are sure to come to me...
Rather than wait on a good man, I continue to waste my time and worth with men who are beneath me! Drug dealers, cheaters, dogs and such are the types of men I should be steering clear of. These are the exact types of people who will end up ruining my life. I must admit that I am quite lucky that I haven't gotten caught up yet! I am not ungrateful though- I do have enough sense to count my blessings. Though I am deeply in like (maybe even love) with Alias, he continues to shake me off. I guess he's just not that into me, lol. But honestly, I hope that he strings me along just long enough for me to get the hell out of Ohio.
It's funny, that EVEN knowing all this, if given the chance I would bow at that man's feet. But in reality I know that he is just a distraction. Yahweh created our relationship, he made me fall, he made me want this man with so much passion so that I can don't think of any other man. Yahweh set it up so that he is in Cleveland and I am stuck here. He set it up for Alias not to realize what a great woman I am. I truly believe he did all of this so that during these next six months I will be too preoccupied to get in trouble with any OTHER men. If that isn't the reason for Alias and I, I am not sooner convinced that I am Caucasian.
Either way, I just am ready for my life to make some major turns. I just want to make someone happy. I just want to be happy.
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