The Takeover

As I did a bit of deep thinking yesterday afternoon, I realized that I do not have control over my life. I am always wondering what my mother would say if she found out I did this, or what kind of car should I buy so that my father will approve. It's a bit exhausting. I am an adult and I finally need to move forward in the direction I want to take me life.

As of late I have also been thinking about the men in my life both past and present... and more than anyone I am thinking of the men who would never give me a chance. Right now, I want to do whatever I have to do to make sure that they look back in regret.

I let Alias go. I am starting to think the whole relationship with him was a waste of my time. It's funny how blind one can be when they are in the midst of something. You don't recognize when someone is playing you for a fool. Being naive is the worse state to be in... or maybe it's a close second to denial. Here lately it seems like I have been going through both. Leading MYSELF on! But I promise, I will never do this to myself again. I'd rather be alone than to go through heart break again. It's imperative for my to focus right now anyhow.

Kicking bad habit it ALL I'm about right now. Bad eating habits and bad habits when it comes to men. I never date men who are out of my league, I date men who are attainable. I need to find someone is so big, so great that he could takeover the world, or at least take over my heart and make me believe again after all the bullshit I've been through...