Here recently I've been going through drama with Charisse as a result of her MALICIOUSLY stealing MY baby name. I tried to approach the situation like an adult, but when on a playground- do as the children do. Its crazy to think that I am damn near 25 and my friends STILL don't have minds of their own. Its all so exhausting! What started out as something that should have been left between Charisse and I, has now been blown completely out of proportion. Now, all these bitches who shouldn't have anything to do with it in the first place are throwing their two cents into the mix. Then, they all want to make the claim, "I'M NOT TAKING SIDE?" BULLSHIT! If there are two friends feuding and one wants to STAY OUT OF IT, they simply refrain from giving an opinion at all. If you find yourself calling one friend and agreeing with her only to turn around and call the opposing friend and agree with everything she has to say ALSO- that is not "staying out of it!" In fact, there is a term for that.... it's called PLAYING BOTH SIDES better known as BEING TWO FACED. I swear the definition people have for "not choosing sides" is ridiculous! Furthermore, peoples' definition of being a friend is even worse!
I can tell you one thing, FRIENDS are over rated. I don't want to have to compete with my friends. I want my friends to be happy for me the way I am always happy for them. I don't want to feel awkward around my girl because her HUSBAND is hitting me. How am I going to explain to her that her man is hitting me up asking what I think our baby would look like, because he is OBVIOUSLY not pleased with the way his two children with her came out looking! I don't want to bite my tongue because my other friend has started a relationship with a guy from my past. If I ever try to tell her, "he is still screwing his ex (also another close friend of mine)," she is going to just say I am hating or call me jealous! I don't want to wonder if my friends are talking about me behind me back the way they talk about one another. I don't want to have to hide my belonging every time one of them comes over in fear that they are going to either steal, mimic, or hate on my possessions. It's all too exhausting!
I am not going to spend too much time worrying about any of this but it's seem everyone is upset because I didn't go to Bar Louie last night? So the fuck what! Last week, these same bitches intentionally went to Bar Louie without me! So now, a week later- they want to pity me and invite me? I'm good. Yea, I went to Bar Louie, I just didn't go with you bitches! It's fine when you guys leave me out, but when the tables turn and I don't go with you guys, it's a problem? That is the most HYPOCRITICAL shit I have ever heard!
Life is too short and too beautiful to spend it with people who don't appreciate who you really are. I am done with the phony friendships. I am done sending texts and making calls to a man who obviously wouldn't know a GOOD WOMAN if she smacked him in the face! I am making a conscious effort to make my life the best it can be. I wrote the majority of my first chapter last night and my mind is solely devoted to this novel right now. Nothing else matters. I know who my real friends are and I have known for over a decade. I know who really loves me- and I shouldn't have to waste time convincing idiots to do the same. I am content with where I am in life and who is in my life as of now! Sometimes its hard to walk away from the people you have loved for so long, but if they never really loved you- what's the point in staying?
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