Life is so complicated and everyday I find a way to make it worse. I am just dissatisfied with some of the decisions I've made in recent months.
It's a hard to task to keep an open heart without taking advice from people. The irony in that task is the fact that listening to unstable friends will fuck you life all the way up! Last year I took the advice of one of my girls about a guy I had been seeing. Consequently he and I fell out over the advice. Months later I am finding out that the information and the advice that was given to me was false and misdirected. Now I am sitting back with my foot in my mouth...
The first step I took to try and mend the bridge I broke was to send the guy a Valentine's Day card. I sent it anonymously. I keep planning to run into him out in the club, but I haven't really been going out lately. So, last night I decided to go to Verizon.com and look through my old phone bills to figure out his number (because I prematurely erased it) and it turns out I am a month too late. The last time I called him was 7 months ago and apparently online bills only go back 6 months. I can not believe it is March already!!! Anyhow, I can't call my buddy A Nutz because we are on the outs, and he is my only connection to him. The fact that this is finals week and I am on the fence with two other men does not make this news any easier. I just don't know what to do.
My life is always full of DRAMA, even when things seem calm. The guys I am into are not into me. The guys that are into me I'm not into. The guys that I seem to be in sync with have some other kind of drama, like a baby or an on again of again. It's always something.
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