Well, it has officially been a year since a began this blog (3-5-06) and the thought of that made me sit back and think about what has transpired in the last year. Have I grown for the better? Am I more of an adult? Was this last year a waste because of the lack of progression in my life? Where will I be a year from now and what will I be logging? All these questions can be answered in details, but basically and in conclusion- my life is pretty much the same- but my angle is a bit different.
Today is the first day of classes and I still have yet to register, so it's not looking good as far as me ending the HIATUS this spring, but I am still hopeful. The fact remains that I only have 4 quarters left (3 if I take a couple 20 crediters) and by next spring I can move where ever the heck I want to. MIA, ATL- Daniel has gotten Houston into my head- but I am not quite sure about that one yet? All I know is, I got to get the heck out of Columbus- asaply. I wish to go down south for a few, maybe even think about grad school- but I have to crawl before I walk... GRADUATE!!!
My love life is crazy right now and with spring approaching it isn't making it any better. I have been talking to "Delphi" for a while now (a little over two months) and he is into "taking things slow???" I am not really sure what to take from that statement- but we have barely even kissed and it's starting to make me wonder if I am wasting my time? We have great conversation, dates, etc. but affection is in question?!?! It's so hard to get an individual gone out of your life when you like them so much. Even when you see all the signs letting you know that maybe you should move on, your head says no but your heart says yes. So basically, we are still talking- and every time I tell him it's over, by the end of the night it's as if nothing has happened. I guess it makes it even harder to stop talking to a guy when you work with him. MEMO TO SELF: "Never shit were you eat!!!"
Another thing about my love life that's funny is 5th Ave. & Polaris. Okay, so I have been going up and fucking down with the both of them for the last two years. And NOW all of a sudden when I am seriously involved with someone else- they decide that they want to clean up their acts & be with me? Hilarious! How about stop calling me, stop texting me- I don't have time for losers anymore! Niggas kill me, you can be so sweet to them for months and all they do is drag you through the mud! Then as soon as they finally wake up- they expect you to be sitting there waiting? Fuck that! I am done! Though I question it sometimes- I have a guy who is interested in me... and if he is really telling tha truth... he is taking it slow because he really wants to get to know me and build something with me. Honestly, Delphi is everything I have wished for in the past- it's just the fact that he seems to good to be true. If I am not going to be with Delphi- I don't want to be with anyone else. Because if he is playing games then- I have to be done for a minute. At this point, I am almost 24 and I am so done with being disappointed. If this shit doesn't work out I am out of the game for while. I will just focus on school, work and getting the fuck out of Columbus! I am not setting Delphi up for failure- but real talk, the only person I am depending on right now is me, because niggas will fuck your whole shit up!...
Speaking of people from the past, Boston has been hitting me up out of the blue. Again, it's funny how niggas find their way back to you once they wake up and smell the coffee!!! lol!!! That's all I have to say about him!
I am finding that if one is meant to be in your life, they will be there. Fate will bring them to you and if for some reason you lose contact or fall out, fate will bring them back. People grown up and... "everybody knows somebody, that knows somebody, that knows somebody!" It's only a matter of time before people see the good in you. The fact will remain that most people just don't know how to be real friends and just don't know how to love. After being let down, lied to, strung along, heart broken- battered- and left behind, sometimes it's hard to trust a new person. Sometimes it hard to realize that someone if being truthful with you. Erykah Badu may have had something going when she sang, "Pack Light!" Let shit go, because the things people have done to you will eat you up inside if you let it! Some pride themselves on the pain of others. If someone doesn't want to be with you, FUCK 'EM! If someone needs convincing in order to be your friend, FUCK 'EM! Tha Truth remains, you will have been a better person to them than they could have ever been to you, THEIR LOST NOT YOURS! THIS is the Tha Truth About It... you could read the words in my blog ALL day and still never know The Real Me and furthermore you could know The Real Me and read those same words and STILL not know Tha Truth About It, ironic huh? That's me- a little piece of irony!
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