It is what it is. Even if I begged and pleaded, it wouldn't matter. Some thing just aren't meant to be and I am starting to trust Yahweh again. I trust that he knows what he is doing. Picking the person I want to spend my life with could not be that simple; nothing in my life has ever been simple. It would have been nice to be with someone I always thought was my equal, but he is afraid that I will end up hating him? What a cop out. Yet, every time my name is called, he does a 180. And the one time they got my last name wrong, I saw his reaction. I may not have acknowledged it, but I saw it and I took mental-note. Funny, those things the face tells that lip service tries to conceal.
Where will we be when all the chips fall? I won't have the regrets that he will, because I tried. I tried hard. I am just a person that believes certain lines should not be crossed if you're not going to go all the way. Why kiss me? Why even hug me?
I think that the male ego gets into the way of many blessings. No one will ever love him the way the I would have, could have. I guess it wouldn't be such a shame if I knew in my heart that he doesn't want to be with me, but he does. There is no good reason not to go up aside from him being a masochist.
Too bad. It would have had a beautiful ending.
No comments:
Post a Comment