I am really thinking I need to fall back. He calls and texts me a bit much for someone who is in a relationship. I keep telling myself it isn't healthy, but it's not my job to enforce his relationship. The bottom line is, I don't respect his relationship. He is with someone else's baby's mother. What for? I wish I could just say, leave her and come to me, but I could never be the catalyst that breaks up someone else's happy home. This is classic Lindsay though. I always find the right man at the wrong time.
This is a guy who chased me for years. He was my first boyfriend. We went to each other's homecomings together. Sheesh, if it weren't for that, I would have never met or been with Maize & Blue. We have so many fond memories together.
The boy I once knew is now a man; facial hair, muscles and mentality. He has grown to be the kind of man I could see myself marrying. This is different than any other infactuation I've ever had. He is a guy who has always loved me for me. He liked me when there was absolutely no reason to like me. I'm talking about Kirk Middle School Lindsay. Baggy pants, tomboy, hair not combed Lindsay.
I remember Love & Basketball's opening weekend, he took me to see that movie. It was the same weekend when Jason Moore, the kid I'd been chasing for 5 years, finally decided to ask me out. I'll never forget, I had to make a decision. Go out with the guy who'd I thought was the man of my dreams and stand up....Money, or keep my plans with Money and say fuck Jason Moore. And I did the right thing. Smalls decisions like that have spawned into very important eras of my life.
Later than year, his girlfriend of four years broke up with him 2 weeks before homecoming. I didn't have a date to mines and decided to page him one night to see if he'd go with me. I went to his, where his ex and her friends followed me around all night after he won Homecoming King and he went to mines, where thirsty Shaw High chicks hadn't seen him since we were 14. Crazy how things work out.
Who knew that one of the guys who he introduced me to at his homecoming would end up being my first love and first serious relationship. I wish I could take that back.
Anyhow, I am doing a lot of babbling and maybe I am just infatuated, but I think Money is amazing. Who knows what will come of this. I couple of months ago, I though IDMR was for me, but he turned out to be a narcissist who is all about playing the field, and now I have no feelings for him at all. I am hoping that things don't turn out the same way for my Money. I really think he is for me. I can't believe that Yahweh would have kept him in my life for this long without reason. By chance, this is the third time we've reconnected. It's been fifteen years. I hope he doesn't end up being another ex-file on the cabinet.
