Whether is was last year, five years ago, or a decade, I've been here before. I've heard the same lines, I have heard the same lies. I put up with it because I have nothing better to do. I put up with not-much-at-all because a little is more than nothing at all. Random text messages and less frequent phone calls are the glue that continue to give me false hope.
Now that Erin is married, people are looking for my next move. My mom asked me if I have a boyfriend, and I wanted to tell her that the unrealistic 1969 antics that she pressures me to follow wouldn't get be a friends let along a caller. Instead, I just told her, "No." I know who I want and I know what I want, but I am having trouble getting there.
A lot of women say that all men are dogs. I don't agree with their angle, but I do believe that all men are the same. Every man is looking to get ahead without any consideration to their counterparts. The man I am dealing with doesn't even seem to have the natural affection that "Allah" gave him. I would blame it on being unevenly yoked, but the three men from the I.D.M.R. that I've dated were worse.
I don't want much. I just want to make love and have my husbands babies. Ten years from I hope to be that version of myself. If I am anywhere in the process, I'll be happy.
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