Decisions

I have an interview for a position in my field this coming Friday. I met someone special last Friday. The weekend was good to me. Our first date was Friday. We met for ice-cream. Our second date was Saturday. We had dinner then hit a movie--which we both slept through. Sunday, I had him meet me for a walk which turned into a hike. Afterwards we did dinner. I swear this feels like something real. Well, as soon as I was getting comfortable with the idea of staying in Columbus for another year and possibly moving on with a great guy, I get the call for an interview with a company which is 200 miles away. I really hope I get the job. And I really hope I get him too. I guess time will tell.

Updates, New Dates

Charge-It-To-The-Game! He's married. He got married a year ago. She's beautiful. They have a son. They may have a daughter too, but that has yet to be confirmed. She looks happy. He looks good. And that is all there is to it. Moving on can seem like such a trifle. You put it on the back burner, forget about feelings and convince yourself that it will be easy to keep it pushing. That couldn't be any farther from the truth. Moving on is hard. Feelings of love do not die. So, how can one move on, call what they had true, but still find a way to get rid of those feelings long enough to find happiness with someone else? I've been harboring feelings for the man for decades and I don't want to waste anymore love on someone who never considered me. I think a behavior started when with him. I learned to love people who don't love me. I learned to go on red. I learned to ignore the basic concepts I was taught a child. From Charge It spawned 50-50, Candle Light, Esco, IDMR aka Dynomite and countless others. I've thrown my feelings toward men who consistently duck them. I'd be a fool to claim I'm not at fault. I'm not sad about it, anymore. I just need a resolve. I have a date tonight--kind of a blind date. My mom asked me last night if I was seeing anyone. She's never asked me that. My dad asked me the same question a couple months ago. He never asks me anything, ever! It's crazy, but for the first time in a long time I am content and comfortable being alone. With Mike, I really thought we had special--not sure if I had a blog code name for him, but oh well. Oh yeah, the Good Angel--but it wasn't special at all. Well, it was special for me, but apparently it was a game for him. I was broken up about it for a while, but now, I don't think I will ever feel that way about anyone again. Maybe if I one day have a child. But I honestly don't think I have the mental capacity to love on that level anymore. I never thought I had it in me to begin with. I kind of surprised myself. I was proud, until it was over. Even now, I can't say I regret it, but I regret that it ended. Anyhow, my parents are itching for me to be in something. I am 29, unwed and childless. That sounds pathetic on paper, but I am quite happy. The drama and ups and downs of a relationship just aren't for me. I don't think I'm the marrying kind. Anyhow, I have this date tonight. I don't want to go in negatively, but I'm not too interested. I will be open minded and see where it takes me, but for the sake of getting my parents off of my back, I need to at least say I'm dating someone. For a while there was Darling. Well, I guess there still is Darling. But he is in Cleveland and I am here. And I am quite certain he is more serious about someone else. Not that I care. We have nice dates here and there. Well, I don't call them dates, but he does. He had to tour the sister Law Firm in Columbus, so he was here on business two weeks ago today and I got to show him a little bit of Columbus. We are always on a good note, but I don't see it going anywhere. We are in two different eras of our lives. Plus, I tend to get intimidated by successful men. I guess it's my own insecurities. I feel like I don't deserve them. I run a list of what a man is in my head and instead of considering the universe has finally thrown me a bone, I somehow convince myself that the universe has thrown me another dog. I gots' to get better!