My Dunny Bunny

In an effort to vent without venting and hate without hating, today, I am remembering my good friend in this blog--that is unworthy of his name. I met Anthony Dunn at Kirk Middle School. He turned out the be one of the most significant, caring individuals in my life. Gracious, funny, adoring, and priceless are words that lack meaning when trying to define who Dunn was. No one knows his killer, but I can't help but want to hate him.

I can not and will not compare how I feel about Dunn with any other person, past or present. I also will defer from glorifying him just because he is no longer with us. What I will do is tell the truth. Dunn was wonderful and perfect in countless ways and he did not deserve to go the way he did.

I know that when a person dies, everyone makes it seem like they were faultless, but when it comes to my friend, the statement couldn't be anymore true. I regret that he left a young son and daughter behind to mourn his death. I regret that he did not get to live more years to finish his impact on this Earth. But, more than anything, I regret that Dunn was taken away. I will remember him fondly and in good spirits. I will remember the-clown-of-a-person I had the pleasure to call my friend. I thank Yahweh that he came into my life and I find peace in the fact that Dunn knew how much I care about him and our friendship.

"But time don't go back, it goes forwards. Can't run from the pain, go towards it. Things can't be explained. What caused it? SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SOUL, SO PURE. SHIT!" ~Jay-Z

Rest In Peace Anthony Dunn June 17, 1984-May 14, 2010 I will always love you.

Truth Time

I'm in love and I'm sure of it. I've never been sure of it before, especially this early on. I'm in love with a man who is in love with another woman. I am in love with a man who told me he wouldn't spin me and has done nothing but spin me ever since he made that statement. The sad part is, all I want to do is cry. but I've been heartbroken so many times, tears just won't fall. I don't know how I got here and I don't know why I let my guard down when this happened to me two years ago with the same man. I'm so fucking stupid and it's no one's fault but my own. I feel so bad. I'm not even depressed, I'm just really, really sad. The first time I figure I'm in love for sure and it's going to end like this? And like I said, all I want to do is cry, but I'm too cold. I guess it's over.

Kinda Depressed

How is it that I'm the one calling and texting, yet I'm not the one with the problem? I am really starting believe the theory that men don't want to be treated right. This is bullshit!

Always Will Be and Have Always Been

Because the truth is it's easier to lie, but I just can't understand how it's so easy. I've always had a problem with dishonesty. It's something I never could do. No matter how much the truth hurts, I ready myself for the backlash.

I met someone a couple of years ago and thought he was a breath of fresh air. It wasn't soon before he was playing games just like every man before him. Somehow, he found his way back into my life and true to form, as soon as I let my guard down, it's deja vu. I don't really know how I feel. It's seems I'm becoming immune to the woes of love. I can't even pretend anymore. I guess it is what it is. Men don't want women who really care about them. They don't want women who are sincere. Men want women who play roles and put on facades. They like women who stick around until you're not picked up by an NFL team then drops you on your ass. It's funny the way that women talk about these men behind their backs. There really is an even playing ground, because men play women, but the women men fall for are dirtier than them. Well, I am neither and I never will be. I will always be a sincere, caring female who loves people for who they are not because of what they can become. You can say anything about me, but the bottom line is, I will always be the truth. It just takes effort to prove it.