We would make beautiful babies. Am I jumping too far ahead?
We would have fun making them. Am I being to direct?
We would be so happy together...friends, dating, marriage.
Whether you're the man I one day tell my kids about or if you're my children's other parent.
I'll take whatever you're giving out, that's how much I value your existence.
And I'm open to know what you want from me, completely void of resistance.
Can't say I'll follow your every command, but I will read you mind.
You can set your clock by me baby, because I'll always be on time.
I can imagine lying with you and caressing your skin.
Massaging your scalp, breathing in your scent.
Just being under you in every way possible.
However do you want me, anything you desire is optional.
It may never happen, but "we" are together in my heart.
No cheap talk, no casual sex, everything we do is making love--in part.
I'll hold on to your every word, remember your every kiss.
Yearn for every moment your hands lift up my hips.
I want to touch every inch of you, consume your whole totality.
Don't let it end, the dream, I want to make it reality.
See other men around me, then lean my head on your shoulder.
Know I have a good thing before it's gone, well before it's over.
See other women and smile as they see you grab my hand.
You've grabbed my heat, you've grabbed my soul, you've done more than any other man.
Your smile has me on the edge of my seat, my feet on solid ground.
Everything in my life is concrete when ever you're around.
I want to be in love with you, kiss your lips.
I want so much out of this man who doesn't know I exist.
5-19-09 Inspired by J. N.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Honesty, Honestly
There are no gray areas, white lies, or half truths. If one puts a drop of poisin in your baby's bottle, will you proceed to feed it to the baby or is all the milk tainted? Some may see this view as extreme, but I have painstakingly learned that which looks real and seems real can not be fake.
We sometimes convince ourselves that what we want is always good for us, but that can't be true. I have found that when it comes to men, a lot like food, the ones that cater to my taste are usually bad for me. The 50s, the Candle Lights, the kind of men that would never give me a chance... The Charge-It-To-The-Games, The Mustangs/Caddys, the kind of men that never gave me an reason, The Big Times, The Abys, the kind of men that drug me through the mud, their taste was sweet on my lips, but their after taste is bitter in my heart.
Over the last few years, I have spent too much time being heart broken and harboring on past relationships--past men that really shouldn't and don't matter. I woke up one morning and realized that I have no say so in Yahweh's plan. If or when he has a man for me, I am sure it won't be who I expected. So, what am I doing? I decided to fall back and take it easy. I stopped calling Alias and all of a sudden he started calling me. I stopped caring about Bullshit and all of a sudden he is at my beakon call. It's funny how the tables turn.
Truth hurts, but honestly honesty heals quicker than lies ever did. Being blind sided by a man who I thought really cared almost killed me, but hoping that a man could love me, yet knowing the probabilty? That allowed me to brace myself. They say bracing breaks bones, but near death is less than broken bones and I'd rather have brokens bones than be spineless. I have a heart and there is no shame in it.
We sometimes convince ourselves that what we want is always good for us, but that can't be true. I have found that when it comes to men, a lot like food, the ones that cater to my taste are usually bad for me. The 50s, the Candle Lights, the kind of men that would never give me a chance... The Charge-It-To-The-Games, The Mustangs/Caddys, the kind of men that never gave me an reason, The Big Times, The Abys, the kind of men that drug me through the mud, their taste was sweet on my lips, but their after taste is bitter in my heart.
Over the last few years, I have spent too much time being heart broken and harboring on past relationships--past men that really shouldn't and don't matter. I woke up one morning and realized that I have no say so in Yahweh's plan. If or when he has a man for me, I am sure it won't be who I expected. So, what am I doing? I decided to fall back and take it easy. I stopped calling Alias and all of a sudden he started calling me. I stopped caring about Bullshit and all of a sudden he is at my beakon call. It's funny how the tables turn.
Truth hurts, but honestly honesty heals quicker than lies ever did. Being blind sided by a man who I thought really cared almost killed me, but hoping that a man could love me, yet knowing the probabilty? That allowed me to brace myself. They say bracing breaks bones, but near death is less than broken bones and I'd rather have brokens bones than be spineless. I have a heart and there is no shame in it.
Today Would Have Been Different
If I would have had you yesterday today would have been different.
They say spirit is soul embodied, you would have been pure spirit.
Blasphemous thoughts would be clouding my mind.
If I would have had you last night, this morning you would have been mine.
But yesterday was so cold and the evening grew colder.
And when I woke up I was merely another day older.
The wind just blew by, there wasn't a breeze.
The birds just chirped, they didn't bother to sing.
Every thing was okay, but it could have been so much better.
If you were mine on the eleventh, you would have been mine forever.
If I would have had you last year, Haiti wouldn't have shook.
They say if you change one thing in the past, you change the entire book.
And even if my name came next on it's pages, I'd be ready to go.
Because my life would have been complete once you decided to show.
But the new year came as expected and the snow fell.
And yesteryear became yet another hard story to tell.
Because without you around, there is nothing to remember.
And last year you smiled a lot, but you would have been laughing.
What could have happened to us would have been beyond imagining.
If I could have you tomorrow, today would forever be known as the eve:
That dawned the day that Adam breathed.
That began time, because you make Earth stand still.
That brought the moment when love finally became real.
4-12-10
They say spirit is soul embodied, you would have been pure spirit.
Blasphemous thoughts would be clouding my mind.
If I would have had you last night, this morning you would have been mine.
But yesterday was so cold and the evening grew colder.
And when I woke up I was merely another day older.
The wind just blew by, there wasn't a breeze.
The birds just chirped, they didn't bother to sing.
Every thing was okay, but it could have been so much better.
If you were mine on the eleventh, you would have been mine forever.
If I would have had you last year, Haiti wouldn't have shook.
They say if you change one thing in the past, you change the entire book.
And even if my name came next on it's pages, I'd be ready to go.
Because my life would have been complete once you decided to show.
But the new year came as expected and the snow fell.
And yesteryear became yet another hard story to tell.
Because without you around, there is nothing to remember.
Yes, spring smelled so sweet as did summer, fall, and winter.
And last year you smiled a lot, but you would have been laughing.
What could have happened to us would have been beyond imagining.
If I could have you tomorrow, today would forever be known as the eve:
That dawned the day that Adam breathed.
That began time, because you make Earth stand still.
That brought the moment when love finally became real.
4-12-10
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